In this regard, the Conan upgrade is entirely in keeping with the spirit of the original pulp novels and comic-book spin-offs – all of which shone a similarly inquisitive light on those learned genre tenets of gore-porn and what scholars refer to as "teen-masturbatory erotica". Along the way, Conan finds brief moments of respite, whether it be arm-wrestling his brawny buddy into chuckling submission or carousing with the sort of nubile slave girls who look as if they were abducted on their way to a swimwear photo-shoot. He's on a mission to save the ancient world and avenge his father's death, battling an evil warlock and his witchy daughter (Rose McGowan, having fun). As played by Baywatch graduate Jason Momoa, Conan possesses "the heart of a king, the loyalty of a bloodhound" and the air of a peeved, preening surfer who can't find the beach. I n a land of chaos and ruin, where limbs are lopped off and stumps spout blood, and memories have faded of the hoary Arnold Schwarzenegger films of old, the hour has come to wheel Robert E Howard's barbarian action hero back out of retirement.
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